Keep Denying It
by xEmbraceAllHappiness
Summary: After a painful 6 months, Puff's left some time to think to himself... And hell does it lead one interesting way
1. Chapter 1

**YES. I HAVE WRITTEN SOMETHING, NOT JUST SOMETHING BUT SOMETHING SMUTTY AND GAY I'm just that weird gal in the fandom I'm sorry. But this was fun so...**

**Characters belong to RayWJ (c)YourFavoriteMartian**

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I don't know... He's just so different since moving in with me... He's so unhappy and I don't know what to do...' Puff sat, bored, alone, and deep in thought on his shared bed.

It'd been half a year since his band had split up, and he moved in with his girlfriend. A full 6 months of feeling a sudden, and complete emptiness in his soul. Why? He refused to believe the truth, he replaced it with the simple_ 'I'm jobless. I'm not famous anymore... I'm forgotten'_ But sure as hell, that's not what it was.

He was missing someone, he didn't want to admit who, but he knew missing them had begun killing him on the inside, bit by bit, slowly and agonising. For these few months, his long term girlfriend Tig did her best to keep Puff happy, positive- the boy she loved dearly. But that version wasn't returning anytime soon. No matter how many times he had actually reached the conclusion, he refused it and rethought. Made his moment of peace and quiet hours in length.

Today, Puff knew he had reached his part conclusion, and he absolutely hated it. Knowing he hated what he knew, discovering the rest was enough to push depression back into his mind. His cloudy, denying, and gloomy mind.

The sun gently shone through the closed curtains of Puff and Tig's room, the brunette rapper laying down, hand on his stomach as he stared to the roof- silent as ever. It was difficult to comprehend how he was really feeling... But it hurt, well enough. What he'd had in mind, was something he grew up being told was wrong, hell-worthy. His mind was full of such terror at this moment in time... But it's not like Puff didn't know he was that way. The bisexual, the boy in hiding from his emotions. Bisexual wasn't that bad... One of his bandmates had always said everyone's a little curved, and that certain people reached a 360 degree, whilst others just chose to admit being that 180.

Which was funny, because sure as hell if Puff told his band, he'd be mocked. Straight away. That's what scared him... No more comfort... No more care... No more love.

Though as these thoughts reached his mind, both his arms slightly relaxed over his stomach, bare and 6 pack shown (considering he'd been so lacked today that he'd kept his pyjama bottoms on) but it wasn't just that, his mind had resorted too more... Puffs fingers began tracing small patterns over his sides... The patterns he traced, were the exact same style that the person he had on mind's did whenever he sexually teased his previous girlfriend. That fucking guy he denied having feelings for... But Puff was too out of it to realise, to sense that unconsciously his hands had moved to his stomach, teasing over his lower stomach before lingering at the pants.

His breathe now caught in his throat, his shifts silent and his thoughts becoming all the more blurry. He couldn't think, all he could do was feel. Feel his fingers tracing over his body as his heart tried to jump out of his chest. The tanned skin caressed by the gentle fingertips he owned, the way his body shifted as he moaned, closing his eyes.

That boy... That person had wrecked Puff... It was a lovesick desire that was covered in hate and denial. Unconscious love, only to grow out of the soil of hate when Puff lost the boy. The boy he adored and wanted to love...

Teasing a hand over his own, hardened nipple, Puff choked out a groan, breaking him away from the negative thoughts... He'd gotten to far to stop... He wanted to know what it could feel like... His girlfriend wasn't home and he was desperate... Slipping a few fingers under the blue track suit pants he wore to bed, he knew just how far he was ready to take this. He knew he had to get it over and done with. He didn't want to deny anymore.

Pulling the pants off with a hum, he aimlessly chucked them across the room, finger tracing up the outline of his member in his briefs. As he brushed his thumb over the light wet patch, he swore he could hear that one boys accent... The sweet, different thing it was. He'd always loved hearing it... He missed it... He'd missed hearing it when that one boy was sad.

He'd missed hearing it when the boy was cheerful, he'd definitely missed hearing it that one night... He missed hearing it moan, shriek and shudder under the pressure of a woman against him. As much as Puff had hated her, he never knew why, until now.

Caressing his firm cock from on top of the cotton briefs, a few choked moans escaped, passion and want hidden deep within the tone. Passion and want he'd been waiting for, for so long. He couldn't take this anymore. Pulling down the boxers, Puff bit his lip and blushed, watching his throbbing member there, up and stiff. Looking so confident, whilst Puff's face showed deep shyness- a rare emotion.

With wrapped breath, the brunettes hand lightly curled over the stiffened penis, beginning to stroke and pump, causing the boys two golden eyes to dilate, groans escaping without any will to stop anymore. Panting, he picked up the pace, moans duplicating, as he reminded himself of that sweet, sweet voice and brave, cheerful grin. How heart warming that grin was, every fan loved it.

But Puff was lucky to see it right there, to be able to cause it, to have the owners arms wrap around him in a hug. It was gorgeous. As he thought, Puff hadn't yet noticed how ready his body was to spasm. How ready his reddened, throbbing and twitching cock was, foreskin slick and leaving noises behind as the precum dribbled nonstop from the tip. Puff couldn't help it. Fastening the pace, the brunette felt his stomach tighten and turn, body shaking and sweaty as his eyes and teeth clenched.

The climax almost unbearable, as he thrusted up fast and hard up into his tightened hand. The bed lightly rocking against the wall, just up until Puff released. Though, he was shocked at the release. His mind, still running, but his mouth working without thought. Releasing, Puff moaned, almost screaming "B-Benatar~!"... Panting, he looked down to his chest, the watery-white liquid patterned all over it, some even on his face. Puff had confirmed it... He knew who he was missing... He knew who he wanted...

Puff craved Benatar, the British keyboardist for his old band. He wanted him badly, and although guilt suddenly hit his mind over doing such a thing over a Christian male, he didn't care anymore.

Panting and relaxing down, he looked to his phone, pulling up the blondes contact. He didn't care anymore. He needed to tell him. Pulling up the messenger, he typed 'I need to talk to you tonight... You're place, ASAP?' For a quick response, a quick, positive response that left Puff to lay there, grinning at the image on his phone. "I love you.."

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**Yep, BenxPuff**

**Please review**


	2. Pathetic Sequel

"What'd you want to talk about?" Came a british voice, smile in his tone, as Benatar sat down next to the stiffened Puff.

The previous remembrance of how amazing his body felt at just imagining this one, tall male topping and caressing him… He couldn't help but feel guilty. His mind was set on getting his emotions out, his entire self conscious mind screamed at him too. His body even screamed it.

Puff was scared, and Benatar knew this. Benatar just put on a smile, easing Puff into telling him what was going on.

"I just… Shit on my mind…" He uneasily chuckled, leaning on his arm as he stared down the drink Benatar had pulled out for him. It's not like Benatar ever drunk this type of alcohol, the brit was more fond of English alcohol, it was as if the brit stored it just for Puff and Axel, the only men he knew would drink it. Just thinking over that had pulled the corner of his mouth up a little.

"Relationship problems?" That was the common complaint and vent Puff had, something wrong between him and Tig. Despite Benatar's selective intellect, the brit knew quite some good advice when it came to relationships. But Puff knowing this, had himself prepared and packed with confidence. But now here at the blondes kitchen table, Puff sat, looking at the far wall nervously.

"...I guess it could fit under that category" He muttered, looking around to Benatar, who'd by this point had tilted his head to the side, awaiting the next half of the story, even if it came bit by bit. "Ben… Promise not to, like, freak out?"

"Unless you murdered Tig, you know I won't" Came a witty giggle, bringing a grin to Puff's face. That fucking giggle… That giggle was so rare, Puff had only heard it a few times before, more in particular whilst drunk. But sure as hell he wanted to hear it more often, he wanted to sit there and listen to it chime through the silence he made awkward and stiff. He wanted to listen to it bring his heart beat to a faster rhythm, as a grin spread over both their faces.

"You know perfectly well Tig would kill me first" Benatar only responded by nodding his head once, amused, as if to say 'True, true...'

"Well then what's wrong?" He suddenly put forward, desperate to know. How desperate the brit was to find out, was beginning to scare Puff. Scare Puff on what a let down it could be to the blondes excitement.

"Um… Okay so, I-I've kinda… slowly figured out, I'm, well… a queer…" He stuttered, head relaxed back down in his hand as the other held onto the alcoholic beverage in front of him. Benatar only smiled, thinking that was it.

"Why're you so worried! Well, like, it's been pretty obvious for a while, with Smithers Love Song and the fact you perfectly wax despite that not being apart of your personality-"

"Ben, that's not it"

"It's not?" By now Benatar sat, confused. Puff only took a deep sigh, looking away from his friend.

"W-What if I said, I'd discovered...that I liked you…"

"For how long?" The blondes voice was almost monotone, blatant. This scared Puff as he hid his face away a little more.

"I-I've been trying to deny it f-for 6 fucking months" The brunette had enough, he was a man, he was tough. He wasn't weak. But this was enough to set him over the edge.

Taking off his glasses, Puff put his hands to his eyes, biting his lip in an attempt to not cry. Benatar saw this and frowned, before removing one of the Mexicans hands, showing a side of his tear drenched face. It was heart breaking, the sudden emotion that showed in his eye. Benatar hated to know that it was hiding all the self hate and anger, all the burnt up self respect. All his courage, and self image dripped out as the form of tears.

Being as gentle as he could, Benatar intertwined his and Puff's hands, caressing down the side of his skin. Puffs eyes almost sparkled, all though curiousity burned in them, as he looked up. "Ben?"

"Don't cry, please" Benatar smiled, his other hand capturing the other side of Puff's, holding it gently. "Smile, that gorgeous grin I saw after concerts those 6 months ago..." Puff was to confused, he moved his other hand away, tears still in his cheeks, looking down to his hand wrapped up in the Brits.

"W-What..." That small, confused look- Benatar loved it. How child like it was, matched with golden brown eyes, it was a curse to melt his heart.

Letting go, Benatar wrapped his arms over Puff, gently using his hand to help it rest into his shoulder. "Puff... Don't cry..."

"I-I"

"Before the story ends, I want to know if we can be more than friends?" Benatar whispered into Puff's ear, having the smaller shoot up, grinning. Benatar couldn't take that grin, index finger and thumb gently perched on Puff's chin, he brought the still whimpering and sniffling rapper in close, lips grazing over each other's.

It was an instant passion, that they both wanted. It was something they'd both craved. Benatar knew his friend was a homosexual, he knew they both were. He didn't want to admit his love until Puff had discovered he was curved. As he told the brunette those years ago, 'Everyone's a little curved, only certain people reached a 360 degree, whilst others just chose to admit being that 180' They, together, made a circle. Never ending, never breaking. Only curved, only together forever and all eternity.

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**Whoop crappy sappy stuff **


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